Sometimes we meet people and are so symbiotic with them, it’s as if we are one person, with one mind, one destiny.

iwashere„I Was Here“ is the first book I’ve ever read concerning suicide. It’s a tough subject, and I usually go for easier books and lighter reading, but it’s by Gayle Forman, so I couldn’t stay away.

The core of „I Was Here“ is a suicide, Megs suicide, but the focus of the story is not. Because the story focuses on Cody, Megs best friend. On Megs boyfriend, roommates, brother, parents. How do they cope, how do they live on now that Meg’s gone?

“…Sleepovers and dance parties and those talks we would have until three in the morning that would make us feel lousy the next day because we’d slept like hell but also feel good because the talks were like blood transfusions, moments of realness and hope that were pinpricks of light in the dark fabric of small-town life.”

Everything in the book is tough. Tough to read, tough to experience, and tough to have rummaging around your mind once you’ve put the book down. I don’t want to spoil you, but there are things I didn’t know existed, that I still can’t believe exist out there, for people who are thinking about suicide. It’s tough to have that on my mind now.

It seems abstract when you’re dealing with people online, but they are still people, and some of them are not nice people, not the kind you ever want to be in a room with. Sometimes you don’t even need to be in the same room for the damage to be done.

The whole book and plot could have gone incredibly wrong if Gayle Forman’s voice would have been too tough too, or if she had tiptoed around certain things, but she handled it gracefully and I think I might not have liked this book as much as I did, if somebody else had written it.

With that being said, there were things that just felt incredibly wrong, confusing and/or unnecessary. The romantic relationship for example. The whole story worked well as a story about friendship and family, and it should have stayed that way.

‚I’ll go where you go.‘ A simple statement that feels like a blanket.

All in all, I would recommend it. It’s not a „suicide story“. It’s a story about a girl who lost her better half, her other half, long before the suicide happened. When her best friend moved away, and she was jealous, and they didn’t talk as much anymore, they barely knew each other anymore. I think anyone can relate to that in some way.

3 Stars

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Meine Bewertung: 3/5

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